Arivall’s and Departures

Just as soon as I hop out of my figurative week-long sickbed (i.e. bedroom bed) like a dog returning to its vomit, here I am to unapologetically rant and rave about anything that my thoughts stumble upon as I type.

Throughout the week of freedom from the stress and responsibilities, you’d think that I’d totally go on some unforgivable gaming marathon, right? Not so much, there wasn’t really much to play. I’m more or less all World of Warcrafted out for the time being, and Condemned 2: Bloodshot wouldn’t be out for another week. It also didn’t help that I was far too drained (damn antibiotics) to do anything by mid-week.

I tried going back through Half-Life 2: Episode 2, Call of Duty 4, BioShock, and Portal; each time I found myself not really wanting to play anymore, which then led to me questioning why. I then came to the conclusion and revelation that I don’t like going experiencing a game more than once. I absolutely loved Half-Life 2, Call of Duty 4, BioShock, and Portal the first time through, but as hard as I tried I couldn’t bring myself to be entertained by any of them.

Maybe it’s that initial sense of enwonderment that can’t be had the second time through or maybe it’s the feeling of being dropped and engrossed into a place that I couldn’t dream up if I tried and the genuinely unique experiences that are had that don’t feel quite as great the second time through. That’s my games-in-depth thing for the week, I guess.

I’m not sure, but I guess the point is that my week sucked for games and it’s takes the crown when it comes to missed opportunities. However, it then kicked into high gear when it came to passive entertainment; movies and TV. Before last week, I honestly can’t remember the last movie I saw, but I got around to watching a few, Hitman, Juno, Fight Club, and The Mist. Nothing much to speak of besides Juno, which may I mention has the most amazingly unlistenable intro song ever. It grew on me, mostly because of one reason which I’ll get to later.

One of the things in my mind is a 6am wake up call from a little thing called reality so that life as usual may resume.

I say resume for those of you that may not have noticed (see what I did there?), I wasn’t around last week. And it wasn’t for lack of time, there was plenty of that considering I did nothing but veg out and wait to get better all week long. For all one of you (did you catch it this time?) that are wondering I’m not gonna disclose exactly what was wrong as it’s not the most pleasant of thoughts.

ANYWAYS.

Kinda like a live-blog, I’ll attempt to insert the happenings of my day as I live it:

6:56am - Waking up this morning I felt like today was different, the good kind of different. Woke-up-with-total-confidence-regardless-of-anything different, let’s hope for the rest of the day will follow suit.

8:59am - Being stuck in traffic for no real reason besides God unleashing his wrath by making me late on my first day back from ‘vacation’. So yeah, I was late to English, everyone stared in amazement. I guess they all thought I was dead or something. Miss Pez (teacher) went a little insane with some bunny that makes a boing sound when you press a button…you had to be there. Although, she was forgiven, mostly because she was generous when it came to lightening my load on a weeks-worth of make-up work. You rock, Pez!

9:57am - Video productions — didn’t really film, Rini and I kinda just bounced ideas back and forth on what our next project should be about and ended up just grabbing a tapeless camera and going for a morning stroll around the school. Choice quote with no context from me “It’s kinda breezy out here, I kinda wish I was wearing a skirt.”

11:25am - Lunch flew by, mostly because I was off make-up quiz for English, and well, it always kinda flies by.

12:25pm - Exactly an hour later I find myself surrounded by numbers. Math class, conveniently enough we have a substitute. Time for sleep.

1:39pm - Journalism, Ty (my partner in stupidities) and I were graced with the opportunity of editing articles that can only be described as literary masterpieces (sarcasm, much?) another choice quote I managed to mutter throughout the whole editing rigmarole was “How do you kill that what which is already dead?” After today, I think I’m gonna start putting effort in making myself more quotable.

2:32pm - Gah! I’m free! In retrospect, today was a good day, laughter was a constant theme throughout the day, along with a whole lot of not worrying about what others are thinking. I should see about having these more often.

And the reason that I spoke of earlier, the reason that a totally unlistenable song that I’d normally turn off grew on me and the reason I put off watching my now second favorite episode of Lost, The Constant (the first being Tricia Tanaka is Dead, but that’s beside the point) until Monday afternoon is actually a person.

Her name rhymes with Mindy and she may very well be among the most amazing people that I ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I’d fully insert a picture of her right around here, but I don’t know how I’d feel about all you fools ogling my goodies if some random person posted a picture of me on the internets, I follow that ‘do unto others’ thing.

Even though, neither words nor pictures would do her justice, inside or out. Shit, now I sound like some love-sick puppy but that is false, sir!

I’ve just really enjoyed conversations that I’ve had with this person to the point of me being awake at 3am, falling asleep mid-conversation but not wanting to. I found myself stalling both of us from leaving when either of us would have to. As you may or may not know, I have trust issues because of reasons that I’m not gonna go into now. But, I found myself trusting her and confiding in her with things that in most cases I would only divulge to people proving their worth in my eyes.

It bothered me for a little while, as I didn’t understand how I could bring down my perpetual guard to a point of vulnerability to someone who is ostensibly a total stranger.

I don’t know what that means, or if it even has meaning. I just know that every time I speak with this person, a lot of the time I have no clue what to say, so I just say everything, and end up looking like a total loser that talks entirely too much.

Hope you’re feeling better, Cindy.